Nothing to Do!

Ready for s service.

Recently, after I had delivered the first of a two part service, someone approached me and said 'Oh, wasn't that a beautiful servce. How lovely for you that you had nothing to do, as the family arranged it all and did the readings.' Then another said 'What a fabulous service that was, what a treat for you to get to do a service like that. I don't expect you have ever done one like that before.'

I pondered long and hard about whether to write this blog post, but both of those comments gave me food for thought. Yes, it was a beautiful service, a fabulous service, and yes, it may well have been different from services that those attending had been to before, but it certainly wasn't any different to the majority of services that I deliver.

I am so lucky to be able to work with families who understand that the traditional/Victorian way of delivering a service, isn't necessarily the right way for their person. We are all unique and therefore we deserve a service or celebration that reflects us. Yes, it is wonderful to be able to be a part of those services, but for me they aren't something unusual.

And so to the comment about not having to do anything... I fully understand that people see me leading in and standing at the front of the room, and think that is all I do, but I can assure you that there are so many more hours of work that go on behind the scenes to make that bit happen.

There is the initial phone call or message checking my availability, and then begins regular contact with the funeral director/undertaker, ensuring everyone knows what has been planned for the day, so that it flows smoothly.

I then contact the family. That call can be short, or take half an hour or more, and together we arrange a meeting. The meeting can be a couple of hours long, but I have been with a family for four hours on some occassions. I have no time limit, they have me for as long as they need me.

Once back at my desk, I then begin compiling the script. That can be pulling together different contributions, or writing the whole thing myself, but that can't happen until I have sent the order of service across to the funeral director/undertaker.

Within all of this is my travel time. Often my families are around half an hour away, but I could easily travel for longer - I go wherever my families need me to go. Likewise, unless I am at my very local natural burial grounds or crematorium, then I have at least a half an hour journey there and back, on the day, and I am always there at least half an hour before the start time.

Once the script is as complete as I can make it, then I send a draft to the family. Sometimes there are no changes to be made, sometimes they are prompted to add more into the script, or have been able to clarify some missing details. I then make any further tweaks (so that it flows well) and send it back again to be checked. We do this as often as we need too.

In the meantime I am usually asked to check through the draft of the printed order of service, just in case there is anything I can see that needs to be corrected.

When the script is signed off, I format and print it, and then have two rehearsals.

On arrival at the venue I check in with whoever is in charge (at the crematorium it is the crem attendant). I check that the music and any family tributes are correct and in the right order, I relay any other information they may need, and I welcome people as they arrive. (I am an expert at directing people to waiting rooms and toilets)!

When the hearse arrives I liaise with the funeral director/undertaker, greet the family and more often than not, I lead in.

After the service I am there to support the family. Sometimes I assist with the flowers, if that helps the undertaker, and I stay until everyone has left, before travelling home, or to a second venue, if I am leading another part of the service there for the family.

At home I shred all of my paperwork, and where appropriate I will watch a service back, to ensure that I am keeping a close eye on everything I do, so that I can continue to improve.

Seperately, my job is a self-emplyed role, so I manage my own invoicing and accounts and my social media, as well as supporting my local community, when I can. I also give talks on my role and bust the myths around funerals.

So, yes, it was a fabulous and beautiful service, and it was an honour to deliver it, but no, I didn't have nothing to do, and no, it wasn't a treat in the way they meant.

When you next attend a celebrant led service, please remember that there have been many, many hours of work behind the scenes, and maybe just let the celebrant know how much you appreciate that!